During the pandemic, I wrote a post called Shame and Blogging (it will be posted beneath this post if you want to read it). I think about this post on occasion, because it seemed to strike a chord at the time it was written. So much so I had people reach out to me for the first time about something I wrote.

I was browsing through a file I keep called "Positive Vibes" where I screenshot nice messages I receive. It might be a text, a Mastodon post or an email, but I try to keep a little folder of positivity so when I'm feeling down, I can look over them and realize I don't suck as much as I may think I do. I haven't looked in there in years, and I found something that both made me happy and a little bit sad.

There was a nice message regarding my Shame and Blogging post written on Fosstodon sometime in 2020. I stupidly cut off the name of the individual who wrote it which is a bummer because I feel like I let this person down. As you can see, this person mentioned referencing my blog post whenever they got caught up. Of course, I made this difficult by moving my blog around, changing domain names, and whatnot. I believe I republished it once, but damn... I can't believe I did that. Looking back, had I paid closer attention, I would have emailed the person a copy.

I actually want to write some more about shame and blogging from a slightly different perspective, but that's for another day. Until then, here is the original post and to the native French speaker who wrote me, I do apologize, and I hope you find your way to this once more. And if you ever started that blog, please reach out and share it with me. I'd love to see it.

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Originally published June 10th, 2020

Forty-eight hours ago, a blog that I've read for the past four years closed. It was a place for the author to share childhood memories and interests along with a daily journal to discuss her personal life. It inspired me because it was a blog that wasn't advertised or written to impress anyone. It existed on a very small corner of the internet by an author who remained anonymous. It was a real person exercising their thoughts online with no agenda. It took me several years to get back to this core of blogging.

Blogs close all the time, so what's the big deal?

Well, in this case, the blog closed down because the author felt shame. They felt like their ideas, thoughts, and energies were no longer valuable because they weren't fighting a large social justice fight. Online bullies and social media made this author feel like her writing was no long valuable, because it wasn't controversial nor combative.

I understand if someone decides they want to spend less time blogging and more time volunteering or fighting for something. That makes sense and is just a change of focus which is natural. But to close off your writing because you feel it no longer holds value or will be judged and condemned for not having certain content bothers me.

The internet, for me, has always been an escape. It's like television. I don't want to turn on every channel and see depressing stuff. I don't want to spend all my time hearing about the injustice in the world. I need to balance that negativity with positivity and that means I need some fluff. I need some content that wasn't created to inspire rage or fear, and sadly, the internet has become a rage and fear factory. We are manipulated on a daily basis to experience these emotions because they make other people money.

Earlier this year, I was pretty much done with the internet. I debated about just walking away from it altogether. I felt like I was alone in wanting the internet to be fun. Then I decided to empower myself and just bend the internet to my perspective. I closed accounts and re-directed my focus to reading personal blogs and avoiding all the mainstream stuff. I found other people frustrated with the internet world who just wanted a less stressful and happier place to hang out online. I started building up a huge catalog of personal blogs to take up my online browsing time instead of the news, social media, reddit, and the like. And for the first time in a very long time, I found the internet to be stimulating, fun, and relaxing.

Now these very people are having shame spill over into that more peaceful existence online and that really sucks. We can all do things to make the world a better place and people online or even society as a whole, shouldn't make you feel like you aren't doing enough. For some people just being nice is enough. For others donating time or money is enough. But the one thing I don't think you should do is destroy all that makes you happy because you feel shame. You shouldn't take away your outlet for expressing yourself because you don't have a certain banner or don't talk about certain topics.

I feel like this post violates my own blogging goals of not discussing controversial/political/news events, but I just don't want to see anymore blogs die because of shame. The world needs balance and the internet is full of enough negativity, please don't snuff what little light remains.